Basic Bitch Pumpkin Spice Muesli


Before you read any further, please do yourself a favor and watch the absolutely hysterical Matt Bellassai in BuzzFeed’s Whine About It: “The Worst Things About Fall”

Despite the video proclaiming that “pumpkin is a shit flavor!”…I DISAGREE! Now, I have to go on record as saying that I am not, nor have I ever been, aboard the Pumpkin Spice Latte train. I think I had one to see what all the hype was, but was not impressed. So yeah, the artificial, sugary pumpkin spice flavor that everyone is accustomed to is, admittedly, pretty shitty. But if instead you stay true to combining the various spices that make up the flavoring of a pumpkin pie, now we’re talkin’.

Cinnamon. Nutmeg. Ginger. Allspice.

Mix ’em all together and you can season anything your little heart desires! In this case, muesli.

In the Bauer household, we go through muesli pretty darn quickly. Kristian got on a muesli kick last January while we were over in Thailand for our honeymoon…strange, I know. He got it for breakfast one morning after exhausting the usual breakfast of amazing fresh fruit and was hooked! Once arriving back home, we started adding it to our weekly grocery list until I noticed the price one day. $4/lb in the bulk section! At the rate he was going through it, that added up quickly. So with rolled oats being around $1/lb, I declared a moratorium on any future muesli purchases and said that I’d make it from scratch.

The best part about making muesli is that it’s such a wildly flexible recipe — you can add anything! Dried fruit, seeds, nuts, spices, various add ins that tickle your fancy…the world is your oyster.

Since it’s fall, and since I’m a basic bitch who just loooooves pumpkin spice anything (especially if it’s from Trader Joe’s), I present a recipe for Pumpkin Spice Muesli!


Servings: a ton


–8 cups of whole rolled oats 
–1 cup golden raisins 
–1 cup jumbo raisins 
–1/3 cup unsweetened coconut flakes 
–2 tbsp cinnamon 
–1 tsp ground ginger 
–1 tbsp allspice 
–1 tsp nutmeg 
–1/2 teaspoon salt


1. Mix spices + salt in a small bowl and set aside. 
2. Combine oats, raisins, and coconut flakes until well mixed. 
3. Thoroughly combine all ingredients in a large bowl, tossing to coat. 
4. Enjoy your muesli with dairy-free milk or yogurt. I like to add a dash of maple syrup to really amp up the fall flavors! Muesli can be soaked overnight, or heated for a nice warm bowl...but I typically enjoy it as is, like cold cereal.
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